the ex

{i've gone back and forth with trying to decide whether to post this or not....i want to say first that i, in no way, am trying to bad mouth curtis' ex-wife or cause any more hostility between us....i simply use this venue to journal - to share our happy times & to vent my frustrations as well....i know that my step-sons & their mother have no idea that this blog even exists, let alone will read this}

we just recently found out that curtis’ ex-wife might be moving down here ~ uggghhhh!

thankfully, if she does move here. she’ll still stay up in northern Virginia with a friend and work there during the week....but she’ll be living down here on the weekend.....we’re still not sure of the situation with the boys and where they’ll be living or going to school (i just heard that they’re living in Maryland right now??? and maybe not even in school??!!).....the only way i even know she’s moving down here is because her mom told me....she’s been lying and telling us she was just having some of her stuff brought down here for storage, and asked curtis to help her dad unload it.....but then her mom said it was to start moving the ex down here.....Lord, please help us all!

but then...she calls curtis last week and asks for an emergency $1100 so that she won't get evicted from her current town house?! i have a sneaky suspicion that she's already been evicted (this would be probably the 4th or 5th time since i've known curtis), is staying with friends in MD, is probably telling her parents that she's moving down here so that they'll help her out financially, store her stuff, or both....but she probably has no intention of actually living here.....curtis confronted her and asked what was going on - told her what we found out from her mother and that we suspect the boys are living in maryland and are no longer in school.....she told him it's none of our damn business!

of course, we’d LOVE for the boys to be down here full time (preferably living with us - we've been begging for this for years & even her own mother has told me that she thinks this would be the best situation for all involved), but i could soooooo do without the ex living close!!! believe me, i’m an easy person to get along with.....and i always give people the benefit of the doubt.....i have tried over and over with this woman!.....but after dealing with her for 9+ years and seeing how she treats me, curtis & especially my step-sons, i know for a fact that she is PSYCHO!!! (oh, the many, many stories i could tell)

she has literally called jaden "retarded" and has said that all of my kids look like they have downs syndrome (these are voice mails she's left - not to my kids' faces).....she's threatened to come down here and stab me....she's had the boys call and say hurtful things to/about their father (they later apologized to us & said that their mother had them say those things).....she teaches the boys to lie, cheat & steal and they really don't have any parental supervision at all.....i pray daily, not only the boys, but for the ex as well.....i pray that she'll come to know the Lord, that she'll realize the wedge that she's slowly been building between curtis & the boys all these years, and that one day she'll get her priorities straight and will put the boys first.....but at 15 & 16 years old, i feel like these years are the most important of all - the ones where they really need their father's guidance & love.....they're becoming men.....and i feel like our time is running out

the saddest part is that the boys are really being pulled into her drama lately....i've know my step-sons since they were 7 & 8 years old and they've always managed to continue to love, respect & admire their father (& have always been nothing but loving & respectful with me, their siblings & even my parents), regardless of what kind of stuff the ex has been forcing on them.....but they're getting older & a little braver these days.....i'm afraid that they're only interested in hearing her side now & are becoming resentful of their dad....i've tried emailing them, and have gotten pretty hateful responses.....i can't imagine that they'd ever speak this way to me in person - and of course i don't know for sure who's on the other end of that email.....we haven't physically seen them since the beginning of this year and we miss them dearly! especially the kids - gabby literally cried when plans fell through the last time & the boys didn't come to visit as planned (even tho this happens a lot - she decides last minute that we need to hand her over some cash or an unexpected bill came up - if we don't oblige, no visitation).....and this situation is so hard to explain to them.....i wish that i could introduce the kids to the boys' mother & could help them understand our family dynamic......but i'm literally afraid to - i haven't had to come face to face with the ex in about 3 or 4 years & i don't plan to do so any time soon....i thank God the boys are old enough to communicate with curtis & i on their own and we're hoping that they will....i stopped the emails tho - i simply won't argue with a 16 year old & i'm afraid that i might say something about their mother that i'll regret....i just let them know how much we love them and that we want to have them living with us full-time.....and if that can't happen, that we desperately want to continue seeing them on a regular basis.....i told them that they have our phone numbers and we're waiting for them to reach out to us.....unfortunately, calling to talk to the boys means having to call the ex's cell & then we rarely actually get to speak to the boys when we do that.....of course i don't blame the boys for their recent behavior - it's only what they've been taught

the fact that this is all a secret & that we have no clue where the boys are living/going to school is reason enough for us to take this back to court.....we’ve been counting down the days until the boys are 18 (they’ll be 16 & 17 in august), but it’s totally unacceptable for her to keep this information a secret from us.....we rarely see the boys as it is, and if they end up moving and we can’t get in contact with them, what then?!

oh, that’s right....i guess she’ll always make sure we know where to send the child support checks!

{thanks for letting me vent}