blood clot...

boy, i'm having 1 helluva week!

i didn't mention that on tuesday (the same day as the accident), i ended up taking a personal day from work & going in2 the cancer center....i've been experiencing burning/soreness/achiness
in my arms 4 a while now....especially, my right arm - even tho i haven't had chemo in that arm since chemo #4 (a month & 1/2 ago!)....monday & tuesday were almost unbearable - i couldn't get my upper arms 2 relax & there were a couple of tender spots on my right arm....my oncologist took a look & checked my blood levels, but there weren't any visible signs of anything being wrong....she explained that the chemo not only burns ur veins, but also the surrounding nerves....that it was normal 4 me 2 have the soreness, it was just weird that it was sticking around 4 so long

i've been using heat (actually, a shoulder wrap from here that curtis got me like 7yrs ago - it still smells awesome & totally rocks!), & that would give me some relief....it's gotten a little better since then - both arms rn't so sore any more...but 1 of those tender spots on my right arm got worse....it's on the side of my elbow - slowly getting swollen, tight, sore....even feeling hot & getting a little red by the end of each day

here's a pic from this morning....it's my right arm (so on the left in this pic)....u can see how it's protruding/swollen


so i decided 2 b a bug-a-boo & go back 2 the cancer center again 2day....this time, the doc could see the sore spot & even measured my arms....sure enuff, my right is 2cm bigger than my left, so she sends me over 2 get an ultrasound - in case there's a blood clot

the ultrasound was neat....1st, the tech was only a year older than me & named Sharon Marie too - & she was also named after someone that died at a young age in the 70's (me after my mom's sis, her after her dad's 1st wife)....she had me strip from the waist up & lay on a bed....she took an ultrasound, starting at my neck (jugular), all the way down my upper arm - following where the jugular splits into 3 separate veins....she had 2 examine each one & it took quite a while....with the lights dimmed & me laying down on the bed, i darn near fell asleep! ~lol~

after we were done, she sent me back over 2 the cancer center 2 find out the results from my doc....sure enuff, there's a clot!

grrrrr!

but thank God i followed my instincts & went back 2day 2 get it checked! if left untreated, the clot could have potentially traveled up & caused me 2 have a stroke....but since we caught it, we just simply have 2 dissolve it

that means that i immediately go on a prescription blood thinner (coumadin)....but since it takes a little while 2 kick in, i also have 2 get an injection (in the belly) every day for a week (can't remember the name of that drug)....i got my 1st one 2day & i'll go back every single day thru next friday (including 2moro & sunday) 4 them 2 keep giving them 2 me....i have 2 watch my vitamin k intake (dark greens) - i need 2 keep my levels constant, eating the same amount each week, or it will throw off the effects of the blood thinner....& of course now i have 2 b careful not 2 cut myself~ ~lol~

i literally broke down in tears at the cancer center....i just couldn't help it!

the nurses were so sweet....i assured them that i wasn't crazy, that i wasn't crying because i have this clot - it's just been a really, really bad week & i felt it all coming down on me at once

on top of all our already hectic schedule, i've been on the phone a kazillion times this week, sorting out the details with this car crap, plus trying 2 get moving on shopping 4 a new ride....we had gabby's ER scare (& loooong night) & then jaden's jealousy issues 2 deal with (the poor boy was so sad that he didn't get 2 ride in the ambulance too - & even had 2 b picked up early from school on wednesday because he had been in tears the whole morning, totally upset that he was in school & his sister wasn't)....my arms have been aching the entire time i'm at work this week....& i've been feeling this guilt about all the time i've been away from work - i have the personal time 2 cover it, but i have just felt like i'm slacking on pulling my fair share of the load & that more than should b, has been falling on my co-worker's plate....i had a cake order 2 fill last night (that i probably shouldn't have taken on)....& there's 1 more worry that i'm dealing with, that i can't tell u about just yet, but i'll fill u in on it next week....& now this clot! just when i thought i was getting close 2 the chemo finish line, i have 2 deal with this BS?!

it's just been a really, really bad week!

but as a friend reminded me 2day - God won't give me anything i can't handle! i just need to breathe & let go of the reins....i constantly struggle with taking on too much - thinking i can handle it all on my own....not wanting 2 ask 4, or accept help....but i'm working on it!

i don't stress it if the kiddos can't always make it 2 all their activities any more....if we can't finish every bit of homework 1 night, i just let the teacher know....i try not 2 feel guilty about feeding the kiddos hot dogs or chicken nuggets 4 dinner if i'm having a rough day (or 2, or 3)....i'm learning 2 let go & let God

we r so truly blessed! God's arms r always around us, holding us close - keeping us safe....He shows us his merciful love each & every day!

& i'm thankful!

RIP ford windstar...

b4 curtis drove me in2 work this morning, we swung by the towing/storage place 2 snap a pic of the damage 2 the van....i couldn't believe that the old lady's bumper was still stuck in my hood! ~lol~ it looks like my van was hungry & just took a bite!

my hubby has always joked that the van could see a check coming from the mailbox, in2 the house....he'd say every time we'd get a tax return, some kind of work bonus, or extra funds would come in, the van would start coughing or complaining it's feet hurt ~lol~ cause sure enuff, as soon as we'd come in2 some extra dough, the van would need new brakes, or something would stop working & it would need repair, or i'd get a flat tire....it never failed!

so, curtis said that the windstar went out just like it should have...

-we poured almost $400 in2 repairs last week (that didn't even fix the problem)
-we just put 4 new tires on it about a month ago
-i had just filled up my gas tank the very same day as the accident

~lol~

RIP ford windstar - u did us good & went out in style!

-----

here's what i'm pimping now...

it's a 08 saturn aura & it's nice! not a minivan, but a big enuff car 2 keep us comfortable 4 the next couple of weeks....our insurance has a $600 cap on the rental & a minivan costs $50 more a day than a car - so i went with the full sized car 2 extend the time we can keep it....i've gotta admit, it's weird driving a car again - but i like it! ;0)

still no official word that the van is considered 2 b totaled, but the insurance guy is pretty confident it is....he said replacing the air bag alone costs a couple thousand dollars, so it's safe 2 say it's a total loss! (yay!) let's just say i'm already car shopping online! ;0)

st. patty's day accident...

yesterday evening, i took the girls 2 corinn's tap class & curtis took jaden 2 martial arts practice....on our way home, the girls & i were headed to get some dinner....we were traveling on a road not far from our home - it's a 2 lane road, with a 55mph speed limit....i was following behind a 77yr old lady, driving little black honda accord....suddenly, she slams on her brakes for a dog that ran out in front of her....i also slammed mine, but did not have enough time to stop....i crashed in2 her rear-end, totally embedding her bumper in2 my hood, deploying my air bags & completely crushing the front end of my van!

gabby immediately started screaming in a panic....both girls had been sitting in the middle row of seats & their seat belts totally did their job! gabby's worked so well that she had a nasty scrape across her belly & she was screaming that it hurt....corinn was also crying & had a red mark across her left shoulder, but she wasn't in pain or panicked

the air bag deploying freaked me out - i'd always heard horror stories about the burns they can give....the smoke from the air bag had filled the van 2 the point that i couldn't see out my windshield 2 tell whether we were safe 2 get out or not

i turned on my flashers & slowly got out - i needed 2 get 2 gabby who was freaking out....the accident had forced my van in2 the middle of the 2 lane road, so i was blocking traffic both ways....about 5 or 6 vehicles stopped 2 help - they were 1st concerned with me & the girls, then started helping to direct traffic by, 1 lane at a time

i got the girls out of the van & we found our way safely 2 the side of the road....corinn was still in her dance clothes & neither had their jackets on....it was a rather warm day, but with the excitement, we were all shaking & cold....i sat them down, far far off the road & went back 2 the van 2 get their jackets & corinn's pants

there was fluid pouring out of my van & covering the road - it was quite a sight....the old lady that i had hit walked up 2 me at this point with the weirdest grin on her face....i said "are u the one i hit?" & she nodded...i asked "are u alright?!"....she shrugs & says very nonchalantly "yeah, a dog ran out in front of me"

i admit, once i knew she was ok - i really wasn't concerned with her....& her attitude kind of pissed me off....not apologetic at all, didn't really act concerned - i know it wasn't her fault, i probably would have braked 4 the dog too, but dang!

i went back 2 the girls & we prayed - thanking God 4 keeping us & the lady we hit safe....asking God 2 help gabby's belly feel better & that she's ok....& yes, even thanking God 4 letting the little doggy live

several witnesses had called 911 & came over 2 check on us....2 gentlemen on motorcycles said they couldn't believe the way the lady had braked 4 the dog....they were coming in the opposite direction & saw the whole thing

the firetrucks & ambulances arrived....the paramedics checked us out....because gabby (who by now, had calmed down quite a bit) complained of a sore neck & that the inside of her belly hurt too, they wanted 2 transport us 2 the hospital....i went back 2 the van again, 2 gather my purse & the girls' backpacks & we hopped in2 the rig


both girls were quiet during the ride - still shaken up, i'm sure....i had 2 give the paramedics all the info they needed & they checked gabby's vitals....it turned out that i graduated high school with the driver & one of the other paramedic's daughter is in preK with corinn....they were all very friendly & did a great job of making the girls feel comfortable & relaxed

(4 those of u that went 2 bway too - the guy pulling gabby out is brian huffman!)

meanwhile, i had already called curtis from the side of the road & he had pulled jaden out of martial arts & headed 2 the hospital....he was waiting in the ER when we arrived....once we got in2 a room & the doc came in2 see us, it was already almost 8pm (the accident happened at about 6:30)....none of the kiddos had eaten yet (remember, we were on our way 2 pick up dinner?), so curtis & jaden ran out 2 get some mcdonald's

gabby ended up needing a CT scan 2 check her belly & spine....& 3 xrays 2 look at her middle back (apparently, it's hard 2 read a child's CT scan 4 that area)....the CT scan required she have an IV, which was not fun - but other than that, she really seemed 2 enjoy the attention....she's my little hypocondriac & has always enjoyed taking medicine & going 2 the doctor....she was super brave & patient! i honestly think this girl might b a doctor 1 day - she's so fascinated by the scans (she was familiar with the process since i've had some done & have told her about them - she was anxious 2 experience it herself), machines & even her IV (at the end of the night, she was actually examining her IV 2 see if she could take it out herself! ~lol~)


i ended up sending curtis & the other 2 kiddos home after they'd all eaten & we knew we'd b in the ER 4 a while (at 9pm, the doc said it would probably b another hour & a half)....waiting 4 the CT scan & those results took forever (scan confirmed that everything was ok)! then, we were told that since radiology had already closed, gabby's xrays would b sent to australia (that's right, the country down under!) 2 b read??? then they'd send the results back


finally, at 12:30am!!! the results were back...a few bruised ribs, but she was fine!

i had asked my mom 2 come & get us (instead of having curtis drag the other 2 kiddos out of bed)....she came up & sat with us 4 the last few hours & really made the time go by faster - she & gabby were giggling like crazy....i think gabby was just delerious from being so tired - she passed out almost instantly on the car ride home! thx so much ma!!! 4 yet again, always being there 4 us!!!

2day, gabby is resting at home with daddy....she slept in till 10am & woke up saying she felt just fine....we expected her 2 b sore 2day, but she says nothing hurts - kids r so resiliant!

now, 4 the silver lining maybe?

i know what u're all thinking - & yes, i totally thought about it too!
just last week, i was complaining here about my van & how it's on it's last leg....we're praying hard that it's considered totaled (completely smashed front end, air bags deployed, totally not drivable - crossing fingers!) - that sure will make getting a new one a whole lot easier! ;0)

ps. i'm sorry, i didn't think 2 get any pics of the van (the others above were snapped with my cell)...but i'll get a shot when we go 2 get our stuff out of it soon

weekend recap...

well, we didn't end up going to NC...1 week & almost $400 later, & my van still runs the same - grrrr! of course, the mechanic has it narrowed down now, & says it must b something else that will cost us another $150 to fix

forget it! i'm thinking we just need 2 bite the bullet & get a new ride...we've been putting it off as long as we can & have gotten 210k miles outta this van...but i'm tired of pouring money in2 the heap of junk, just 2 keep it running a lil while longer....don't worry - it's still getting us around just fine...the mechanic even said it would probably do fine going to NC, but we didn't want 2 chance it...i'd get in2 the whole issue, but i really don't understand it - nor do i think u care ;0)

so anyway, we ended up chilling at home...i think things worked out 4 the best - it not only rained the entire weekend here, but also down in NC where my BFF lives...driving in the rain sucks...& having my 3 kiddos, plus her lil one (2yrs old) stuck inside all weekend prob wouldn't have been a blast either

we hung out most of the day saturday...we had some antsy kiddos at first - they kept occupied 4 a while with some games & these cool notebooks that our friends, the grimes, sent em


but they were jonsing for a trip to the playground & didn't really care that was raining...curtis said, "what? do u want 2 go & play in the rain?!"...& gabby answered, "if u let us" ~lol~

so instead, he took the kiddos 2 the video store - the girls got a barbie movie & a powerpuff girls movie...& jaden got a sonic video game...it was the perfect day 4 chili, so i started working on a big pot...they came home just as i was getting ready 2 cut up the green peppers & onions...miss corinn will turn down playing outside, watching a movie, anything, to help in the kitchen! it doesn't matter if u're boiling hotdogs or washing dishes - she has to help!

i have this pampered chef kiddo knife that she uses - she thinks she's hot stuff too!


i already had some peppers cut up in slices (i keep a couple containers of cut veggies in the fridge 4 the girls - peppers, cucumbers & grape tomatoes r their favs, but also broccoli, cauliflower, etc. - they LOVE fresh veggies & i let em snack on em whenever they'd like), so i just needed her 2 chip em up for me...she let me handle the onions ;0)


she also helped open all the cans with the electric can opener & dump stuff in the pot...she loves using the pepper grinder, so had 2 handle that job too! ;0) we also had baked potatoes with all the fixings - corinn washed up the potatoes & help grate the cheese

from then on, she insisted that she made dinner! she even appeared a little offended that her big brother didn't care 4 the chili, saying "just try it jaden! i made it, it's good!" ~lol~

sunday, we started the day off by cleaning up around the house a bit....then headed 2 our fav sunday hang out (when daddy is off work), the skate rink!

it was good 4 the kiddos 2 burn some energy

they were just loving having dad home from work - both parents, all weekend!


after skating, we did a little shopping - i had some stuff 2 return 2 old navy & had a coupon that needed 2 b used...so i got the kiddos a few things & then we ran by walmart 4 a few groceries....after that, the kiddos had joyful noise practice (childrens choir), then home again

it was nice having a weekend with no plans - where we could just come & go as we pleased...no clocks 2 live by, no appointments 2 keep

we sure missed our friends in NC! the kiddos couldn't quite understand why we couldn't go - the van works, y won't it make it there?! but i think they still had fun with us - just chillin'
;0)

go fish...

last night, the 2nd & 3rd graders at my kiddos' school performed a musical number called "go fish"...jaden is in the 2nd grade & the boys in his class were sharks! (if u know jaden, u know this was right up his alley!)

before the show, he specifically asked that i get a video of the song "we're sharks", because he said "it's just the guys, & not the girls, singing"



he didn't have any speaking parts, but i was amazed at how involved he was in the musical numbers...usually, he'll only sing/motion along with the songs he really enjoys - this time, he participated in each & every one! & appeared 2 have a great time too!


i love the end of this video - u can tell just how proud jaden was by his performance...just check out all the bows! ;0)

(excuse the loud, ear-piercing scream in this one...all the kiddos screeched at the mention of sharks in one part of the song - at 1:52 in2 the vid...u can tell jaden was NOT a fan of that part - he's covering his ears!)

car repairs...

we're dropping the van off 2nite, so the mechanic can work on it 2moro...we already did this on monday & he found something else that needed repair (of course he did, right?!)

he says this time should do it tho

crossing my fingers - we really wanna head to NC saturday morning, to visit my BFF & her fam! who knows when it'll work out 2 make the trip again (with curtis' work schedule, my upcoming cakes & treatments, kiddo activities, etc.)

say a lil prayer that we r able 2 make the trip!
i need 2 get away!!!

weekend recap - picture marathon...

what an absolutely GORGEOUS weekend!!!

i'm talking temps in the high 70's, low 80's!

we practically lived outside all weekend - whether is was in our own backyard, at nana & grandpa's 4 some 4wheeler/go-kart riding & a cook-out, or while we did some playground hopping!

in the backyard...

break 4 lunch - but corinn helped with the dishes ;0)

back at em...2 the playground

time 2 hit nana & grandpa's...

till dark - cupcakes by the campfire...

break 4 church on sunday morn...

back at em...ice cream, then headed 2 another playground...

the kiddos had Joyful Noise (children's choir at church) practice in the eve - time 2 start practicing 4 the Easter Sunday program...then home 4 wind down time...monday just comes back around way too soon!

last night, gabby says "we had a great time home from school!" (meaning the weekend) "we got 2 go 2 all those playgrounds, & have a cook-out at nana's, & have ice cream...can we do that next saturday too?!"

now, that's what i call a fun weekend!