as i mentioned before, jaden is really starting to express his emotions more these days, and it's sometimes difficult for him to do that appropriately....because i recognize that, i cut the boy some slack, and just try to explain to him what is & isn't appropriate/respectful/nicelast evening at the girls' dance classes, jaden was bored & wanted to go upstairs and get one of the big exercise balls that he knows are up there....i wouldn't let him, explaining that there's not enough room in the lobby to play with it & that they aren't toys - they're meant for the classes....i suggested he draw, or we could go outside & play in the grass....he was not happy with that answer and replied "fine! i'm not your son any more!" ~lol~....i told him i was sorry to hear that, and left it alone....he kept on his sour face and pouted for a while
then when he needed to ask me something, he said "sharon?"
i laughed, "sharon? my name's not sharon."
"yes it is." he said
"okay, u're right - my name is sharon...but you're to call me ma."
he said, "but i'm not ur son any more."
i said, "well, i understand u're upset with my decision, and you can be angry about it...but u cannot call me sharon. that's disrespectful & i expect u to call me ma."
he didn't say anything else & i left it alone as well
he lucked out later & gabby's dance instructor invited us all up to check out the girls in their recital costumes....jaden was able to sit on/roll around with the exercise ball momentarily while all the other parents & i oooh'd & aaaah'd over the girls....then i told him it was time to go back downstairs and he was fine with that....all the 'i'm not ur son' stuff was forgotten
well then this morning, jaden was in his room getting ready for school.....i walked in to check on his progress & he was half dressed, playing with his k'nex.....i told him that he needed to put those away until he was finished getting ready, & then he could get them back out
he started packing them back into their case & simply said, "u're ruining my life."
not in an angry tone or with any real emotion....just matter of factly, without even looking up at me
i chuckled quietly to myself & left his room....but before we walked out of the house to leave, he put his arms around my waist & said, "ma, i'm sorry i said u're ruining my life."
i replied, "it's okay bub, i'm sure it won't be the last time!" ~lol~
6 comments:
LOL, I think it's just the age too. I get that from Javi almost daily. He wants to be so indenpendent, but because he is a flapper, I really can't let him play out front with typical friends his age without adult supervision. It's a safety concern because he tunes everything out when flapping. We are working on a plan with bmod to have a "flap token" to signify when it's ok to do it. When he doesn't have the token, it's not ok.
This post really hit home because Javi says something nasty to me every few days. It used to hurt my feelings, but I just had to step back and realize that he has no real "inner monologue" and doesn't have the natural social sensor to realize he shouldn't express absolutely everything he is feeling all the time. I try to look at the positive: we are fortunate that he is expressing feelings at all. A few years back he wasn't really expressing anything. We sure have come a long way, but we are sort of torn on whether or not it's really considered progress ;0P
yeah, it's hard when jaden walks up to a heavy person and says 'hey, do u have a big belly?' or to anyone with gray hair 'hi grandma/grandpa!' ~lol~ i used to feel like i had to explain and make excuses for him, but now i've realized that even kids without ASD do/say this kind of stuff too...and most of the time, they just laugh it off
that flap token thing sounds interesting - i'd like to hear how that works for u...jaden's form of stimming is movie scripting...we've had to work really hard to get him to not do this during class/dinner/etc...he just zones out and recites lines from movies...usually his fav movies which then cause him to laugh hysterically...there are definitely times that i don't mind him doing it, but it can be disruptive...and i know that as he gets older, he might have to deal with bullies on this one...so let me know about that token thing, it might b something we could use too :0)
wow, that's gotta be hard, but you handled it great! What great mom skills! Sounds like Freaky Friday! You should watch that with him. =)even though it's more of a girly movie, he might like it and be able to relate?
This sounds like something my son would say too. Lately he has been telling me that he "hates" me. I know he really doesn't, he's just discovering the shock value that words can have! He tells his siblings "You just think you're stoooooopid!" He learned that lovely "s" word from Peanuts videos!
Thanks for visiting and commenting on my blog!
brooke - i've never seen that movie...might have to check it out
laa & fam - i love hearing stories about samuel! thx for the comment back! i too, HATE that "s" word...and "shut up" - another one that my kids hear all over the tv and when we're out...i think it's just so hateful, but it's hard to get children to understand y they can't say it & others can
I like how you patiently handled the situation and didn't get angry with him!
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